soul men (ramble then notes)

I used to think it was foolish to paint the town GENDER, to say "men do this as men" and "women do this as women." When I would catch myself constructing in that way (breaking down past break-ups), I'd stop, apologize, renege a little. Gender-ideas are so distended with advertising garbage, fun-house mirrors, false distance. "Traditional gender roles" seems a phrase of the Christian Coalition and the status quo quo quo, the kind of commercials for soap and beer that I sometimes find insulting, Jennifer Aniston vehicles, bullshit reasons for disallowing gay marriage. But Lo--there is a masculine and there is a feminine--essentially, naturally and culturally too---so many forms/informations. One can only guess-at gender identity; one can only gesture-toward notions of whole GENDER. But both pursuits are worthwhile, however faulty. These days, I think to be "gender blind" in personal and cultural matters is kind of ridiculous.
When I listen to R&B hitz of ayer y hoy sung by menfolk, I feel particularly addressed by menfolk (as with the Trey Songz tracks I wrote about the other week). But the genre with it's love-subjects and tender pace allows for menfolk who can traverse women's worlds, who have some of the feminine in them (as we have some of the masculine in us). It's a non-science. In a surface way, I can be quite harsh with unsexing-here (too tight pants, indifference to sports, hysteria, an inability to fix things, a certain criticality...). But in a soul way, I need a man to know how to try to understand me. This morning, Al Green's "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart" (1972) blew mi mente in that vein, as a relaying of my own experience by a man, "from me to you and you to me."
Al Green's lawyer in Memphis once told my Papa that Al was the only client who addressed him as "baby." A&P LOVES men who can pull off casually calling other men "baby!" And this quality--masculinity that is unruffled by/occasionally incorporates a feminine timber of affection and emotion--courses through Al and his catalogue. Like, masculinity that allows soul-level-femininity (or really, soul-level equality between men and women, all people...) is ultimately, most- masculine. It's a matter of artfully balancing sameness and difference. I like a man to do things that I can't do; I like to do things that a man can't do. But I also like/need the Venn diagram, the human universals, connectors. Al Green is such a MAN that his sometime preening and vulnerability serves to heighten his HUmaness, not assail his unassailable manhood---right? In "How Do You Mend...",
a devotional guitar and organ, Sinatra/Disney strings, a spare, mournful drum that is not dance but a memory of dance.
He could be a throaty woman!
"I was never told"----an innocent?
"The sorrow"---like Our Lady Of_____!?
...string tremor, like weather, about weather (Memphis love in Memphis storms on Memphis porches)--"I can still feel the breeze."
An admission, "and mine is!"
A question, a cry for aid...
"No one told us"----partnership
"How can you mend?"
We mend--mending
Only a woman can do 'the mending'?
Green is some kind of priest athlete, within and without the music when he sounds 'on his knees' (CHURCH)
(SEXXX)

(There will be both women and men making art every year!)