Don't Eat! Watch This Double-Burger Slideshow!

I had a whole wheat english muffin and some carrots for lunch, but I read this while I nibbled (sadly).

Truth in Advertising For Friday

Verses

Celery
Ogden Nash

Celery, raw
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.
(c. 1931)

A friend told me this weekend that celery is the world's only negative calorie food. One burns calories while digesting it or something . . .

I blame vegans

Coca-cola has discontinued Tab Energy. This is old news; I had guessed it when I no longer saw it stocked in gas stations, supermarkets, Target (though the brilliant, hainted Smart Mart holds out--thanks Smart Mart). And this morning I got really hungry, and I wanted a Tab Energy, like, really badly. The can is beautiful(ish); it tastes like watermelon jolly ranchers; it is a genius appetite suppressant. Evidently, they've just launched the stuff in Spain (where I'm sure it is well loved). What gives? People drink that Red Bull all the time, and it smells like rotted ho-hos. I think there's just a growing distaste for nutra-sweet inflected products. People are all cleansing and eating raw! live! stuffs, and that's cool, but don't take it out on me (Gwyneth).