Disco Bloodbath: The End

I may have mispoken earlier when I said that Bebe Zahara Benet should win RuPaul's Drag Race. I was really just trying to say that she was a fierce competitor and stood a great chance at taking the whole competition. I didn't really think she was going to take it.

But as I tend to speak things into existence, last night, Bebe took the crown as the next great drag superstar, with Nina Flowers as runner-up. This upset me for a number of reasons. I think there was a certain amount of politicking (Bebe hailing from an AIDS ridden country in Africa, etc.) and perhaps a little bit of sexism (for lack of a better word) towards Nina's more androgynous, sometimes even masculine, interpretation of drag. Deep down, I really felt Nina was going to win. She deserved it, if only by a slight margin.

While both are fierce, and amazing performers, and brilliant always-on-point illusionists, Bebe maintained this (yawn) delusion that she had to do everything with "dig-ni-tee" and "ree-spekt," which is all well and good until you remember you're a 6 foot 3" man in a leopard body suit and a ginormous wig. Home girl got all Lucille Ball "waaah" when they dumped water on her, made her kick box, and even when she had to compete in a "vogue off." Christ woman, this isn't the search for the next drag amabassador to the UN.

Nina Flowers, however, worked every challenge they gave her. Dunk a bucket of water on the bitch, make her fight one-on-one with a Krav Maga expert, it don't matter, loca! Bend her, break her, anyway you need her, Nina handled everything with charisma and humor (which I guess I find more admirable than dignity and respect). At the end of the day, she would have been a much more fun MC for the Absolut "Real Fruit" Tour this summer (the main prize in the competition).

Ironically, I think RuPaul failed, as Tyra does (every. single. time.), but in the exact opposite way. While Tyra claims to be searching for high-fashion, she always chooses someone with (debatable) "personality" and approachability (read: the pretty girl from high school, never known for much else). RuPaul wanted an entertainer, approachable and personable, and instead chose a high-fashion Cameroooooon Barbie.

Below are two performances from the ladies in question. Both are flawless and entertaining, but ask yourself which one is more engaging and crowd-working at the end of the day.

Live From The Pen Fifteen Club

A few nights ago, this les-faux (from the Greek, meaning "fake lesbian") that I know texted me at two in the morning to tell me President Spears's "If You Seek Amy" so totally omg reminded her of me. I'm still not sure if this is a reference to the fact that everyone secretly wants to have sex with me (possibly), or that I'm just really elusive (not so much), or that the bar she was at should stop running $4 Jager shots on Tuesdays (b-i-n-g-o!).

So, um, in any event, Britney's latest and most controversial single (meh) now has a companion video. I could address the "controversy," but I'd really rather not. I like the song. It's silly and flirty and damn catchy, continuing this wonderful "kiss my ass" theme running through Brit's last few singles. And the video is in large part: fun-Britney dancing around and looking hot with a bunch of horny, strung out dancers in a large house (perhaps invoking a little Fiona for the dance pop set?). Towards the end, things shift a bit, and I suppose the whole point of it is to showcase, yet again, her duality as an American Sweetheart and a hardcore sex symbol (although the two have bled together after so long--there's really no duality anymore), generously sprinkled with bitterness over one or the other (you just can't tell which is which with her).

At the end of the day there's nothing wrong with any of it. Just keep doing what you do, babe. We support it. Although, why did you have to raid the Paramount Archives and steal the wig Stockard Channing wore in the "Sandra Dee" number from Grease?

Happy Birthday, Nina Hagen!

Would You Excuse Me? I'm Feeling Emotional...

I don't know why it took Alpha so long to post this, but I saw Shirley Manson on that awful Chelsea Handler show the other night, and the next day spent a long time deciding between her's (Chelsea's) and Carrie Fisher's books at *that* local bookstore, and decided (klar klar superstar) on Carrie's...The one thing keeping me undecided was that Shirley Manson has never appeared on Carrie's Lifetime television project, Interviews From The Edge...

In any event, the Chelsea Really? interview reminded me of exactly how much I love the Shirley. I have loved her since the first day I met her (see below for details). Pillow and I saw her live (with Corsica) a few years back, and the bitch is still on fire. Nearly 6 feet tall, she kicked some random line-stepping fan in the head, a story we do still regale the younguns with...And I figure, since we're all about the 90's redux here, I'd just give you another great throwback...

I remember my first day with Shirley quite vividly. I discovered Garbage The Rock Band (as Chrissie Hynde so lovingly refers to them), infantalized and fresh from my morning routine (at age 10. Please do check yourself into a clinic if you think that's hot). Seemingly out of nowhere, this video came on, and I decided at that exact moment, this woman was going to be the end-all-be-all for me.

First off (even at 10), blue eyeshadow on a green-eyed redhead? Crazy! (although Able, on her first meeting with Alpha, would dare the same thing... on HIM...). Then, upon further review, fishnets and goth and actual clinical depression and everything Gwen Stefani at that time was not (despite their apparent lifelong friendship).

Y'know, it's all quite possibly why I'm gay; it's probably why my love for alt-rock prevents me from keeping a man (or an actual gay one, at least, who doesn't love Sonic Youth more). And her current run (acting!!!) on the FOX television thing, Sarah Conner Chronicles, is most certainly why I act even more like a robot these days. ..

Regardless, this is the video that made me the Alpha we all know and love. Enjoy. Listen to it many times if you don't have the CD nearby. Because, deep down, you know you want to...

Disco Bloodbath

If you haven't been watching RuPaul's Drag Race on LOGO, then...well, what the hell is wrong with you? Seriously, it's the best reality "game show" out there (although that one with Vivica A. Fox is pretty choice, I never know when it's on, which is my burden). This week was the most severe episode yet. I'll try to make the synopsis brief:

Everyone hates beautiful "fish-like" bitch, Rebecca Glasscock (note: "fish-like" is used to describe a drag queen that goes more realistic than artistic), but she won this week's challenge (making tough female competive fighters into their drag "daughters") and thus stays in the competition. Her archenemy Shanel (who says she's only 29, but she's really 89) is livid.

The problem is, despite winning this challenge and being the hottest bitch there, Rebecca is the weakest competitor at this point. RuPaul had no other option than to place bubbly man-girl Ongina and Grace Slick's long-lost sister Bebe Zaharra Benet in the bottom two. In my opinion, both should've at least been in the TOP 3 at the end of this thing, so seeing either of them (cue the lightning and thunder) LIP-SYNC FOR THEIR LIVES was devastating. So devastating, that RuPaul had to excuse herself from the stage to contemplate who would have to go. I assume this involved reviewing the girls' overall work in the competition, and a big ol' cigarillo packed with the good shit, but I digress...

In the end, sadly, Ongina was given the size 14 stiletto boot, only because Bebe is a madwoman on the stage. Seriously, she's a beast. Last week, Jenny Shimizu pointed out that she would be doing coke with Bebe if it were still the 90s. She's a brilliant throwback to that early/mid 90's 7-foot glamazon drag queen in a sea of club kids thing (...and who does that remind us of?).

Below is the final 7 minutes of the show. Takes about 2 minutes before the lip-sync, but OMG, it's worth it.

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