Did you know this terrible Ke$ha wrote a song about throwing up in Paris Hilton's closet?! At first I thought the lyric was, "I grew up in Paris Hilton's closet," which, though sung-spoken in that ugly way she do, would have been pretty brilliant, but no....if you can bear it, the full poem is here.

I've done my share of drinking. Over the past couple of years it's tempered, because booze is a depressant and because occasionally I'd forget things or remember things, not awful things just semi-awful things like conversations. Once on Pillow's birthday I threw up all over a hotel room (or just on the bed and a patch of carpet) and she cleaned it up and bought me saltines and a t-shirt where a parrot emits a speech bubble,"It's 5 O'clock Somewhere." Once I was at a party and a girl sitting next to me just slumped forward and spewed on her knees; I was mortified. Everyone was laughing and she was too wasted to notice or clean herself. Being drunk is great until it isn't. It's just so important to not lose control of one's faculties. Waking up in a puddle of sick is never glamorous, laudable or interesting--no matter the circ's, no exceptions!....making a smelly mess of a girl's (quite nice) closet and then writing a smug, shitty tune about it---BIG OY.