Get Well Soon Marissa Cooper.

Former O.C. starlet/professional girlfriend and London-club-goer/likely heroin-sniffer, Mischa Barton called 911 Wednesday night and was sent down to Cedars. As of yesterday A.M., her publicist reported it was a case of pesky wisdom teeth...we begged to differ. We were correct. She's collapsed in that proverbial Tijuana alleyway, and been placed under a 5150 psychiatric hold by the state of California. We've all been there.

These, as mentioned again and a-gane, are psychically trying times. Something crested. 2009 is a big, fast thud for Millennials and Millennial celebrities and the WORLD. Our prayers (?) are with Marissamischa, the insides of hospitals are jarring, but calling for help--of any sort--is a good move.

Able Consulting

In the Summer of 2002, I played receptionist for a few weeks, rocking some combination of evening wear and sleepwear with my toweringest 17-year-old heels, cups and cups of coffee and an artfully folded Business section. I kept up with the stocks that interested me: FedEx, 3M, LVMH, Fiat. You see, I had a crush on Lapo Elkan way before Vanity Fair or M. K. Olsen did. I was relatively convinced that we would be married once I was old enough to study History of Dress at the Courtauld and haunt Tramps and Raffles and Aspinal's (lordy). Well, as it turns out, I was right (at least on the economic front); Fiat was worth investigating...at present, it appears they're swooping in to profit from the untimely death of American autos, and HOW.

Will some tycoon or other please recognize and reward my corporate consulting potential?!