White El Dorado

So last night? I had this dream? I took Ghostface Killah as my date to the Academy Awards and he was kissing my neck while I was giving my acceptance speech. And he whispered "I'm going to make love to you tonight, baby" in my ear and I started blushing and stuttering and he yelled out "Staten Island's in the house!" and everybody started cheering. And I was wearing this dress? It was super low-cut in the back and the Wu-Tang logo was in rhinestones across my butt, which was really really big. And my hair was black and in front of my face like Jessica Rabbit's? And suddenly with one dream I set a really high bar for myself. I have to go to the gym. And when I get there I'm going to get my heart rate going with this jam.

Don't Let Me Hear You Say Life's Taking You Nowhere

'Cause the VMAs are stupid anyway. Bey was absolutely robbed. And Kanye was just doing what he always does, which is rip off people that are way cooler than him.



Also, Kanye wins because he got to go home with the best trophy of all. I can't find a picture of Amber Rose's outfit that isn't going to take up the whole blog, but can we talk about it? Where does she shop? I want to go to there.

In a Dream My Love

The Best Thing Going (For Monday)

I See Your Black Irish and Raise You Two E's

I do believe an all-inclusive F.U.R.B. tour of Drama Island is in order. White eyeliner not included.



And before you ask, yes, people do line up to get into clubs on Staten Island. For hours.