50-1

Sort of accidentally mired in THE ESPN ZONE (caps can't quite do justice to the fearsome, flame-engulfed font of the in-the-flesh sign) in Times Square—a truly awful place (and you know I like kamp so...)—for two hours of pre-race, race, and post-race, I was a tired, hormonal, slightly beer-buzzed mess, deeply offended by noise and drunk men (ha). The icky, cavernous space and the tableaux of grown-ups taking kamikaze shots were misery. But the race was spectacular. Last year, watching with a mint julep, in my parent's home in Memphis, all ease and civility as accustomed, I saw a lame horse put down, an ugly thing that rendered even the winner and bourbon insignificant. So I suppose, just this once, style is inconsequential, the environs of a Kentucky Derby celebration nothing to the actual stupefying and glorious run.

Watch below as Mine That Bird, a horse that cost $9,500 (!!!!!!!), wins with the second longest odds in Derby history. Each person involved, the aggressively adorable Cajun jockey, the stiff and sweet cowboy owners and trainers, is astounded and OH-SO earnest. Many will be talking about Depression Era, David and Goliath, Meet John Doe, hope-y, cute-y stuff (as well they should)—