where you at whodi??

The fact that people born in the 90's can buy cigarettes and having an ex-boyfriend, who we'll probably see on "To Catch a Predator" one day (if he ever learns to use the internet) are just two of the many things that make me feel old. But perhaps the thing that makes me most painfully aware of my advancing age is the cultural phenomenon of established musicians being dubbed as "new artists," just because there are a bunch of teenaged twits out there that someone can fool into believing this crap. I understand the allure of "discovering" a new band or artist—it makes you feel good to know about something that no one else knows about. So I guess fooling kids into thinking what's old is new is just another marketing scheme. Pretty genius, actually.

I recently saw a MySpace ad touting some kind of contest for "best rookie rapper." The first rapper that I recognized was The Game; okay sure, he's been around for a while, but never really hit (so I can rationalize that choice?). Next, I saw T.I.—Really? REALLY???? T.I. released his first album in 2001 and had his first huge commercial hit in 2003. He's been steady on the scene since then, so we can't even call this new album a comeback. After I got over the shock of T.I., I was assaulted even further when I saw Lil' Wayne was also a nominee. Lil' Wayne is even more ridiculous, as he's been around FOREVER, with his first commercial success coming in 1999 with the Hot Boys #1 album "Guerilla Warfare" and his solo debut "The Block is Hot." It wouldn't be presumputious to say that Lil' Wayne had a huge part in defining rap in the late 90's, but I guess kids who think he's a new artist probably weren't even allowed to listen to music at that point, so I can't really fault them for not knowing.

Just to drive the point home even further. . . remember a few years ago when Liz Phair came out with that new album and got nominated for "best new artist" at some crackpot MTV/VH1 awards show? Yeah. And last season on "The Hills," Audrina invited L.C. and Lo to come "check out a new band." When they walked in on Alkaline Trio recording their 6th studio album (not even counting 3 compilations, 8 EP's, and countless exclusive releases), I threw up a little bit in my mouth. But truthfully, I can only feel sorry for these babies who'll never know what it REALLY means to drop it like it's hot.